Take the Christmas Personality Test

The Christmas season is upon us once again, and like every year, it’s pretty much a guarantee that you’ll be hearing the same old thing from the usual suspects. Which personality do you come closest to?

A. The Killjoy

The Killjoy, aka Killjoy to the World, is not a fan of Christmas by any stretch of the imagination, and might even become disoriented or hostile around blinking Christmas lights and some Christmas songs. You’ll usually hear the Killjoy harping on about Constantine, the origins of winter solstice festivals and how "Jesus didn't celebrate Christmas so neither am I." May also believe that Thanksgiving and Flag Day are of the Devil. No one knows exactly where this anti-Christmas mindset came from, but some believe that it results from receiving too many sweaters as Christmas presents during childhood. Although small in number, Killjoys have a disproportionate presence on blogs. Warning: Keep the Killjoy and the Pro-Christmas Activist apart at all costs.

B. Merry Melancholy

The Merry Melancholy likes Christmas in theory, but may have the same effect on people as the Killjoy. Although the Melancholy truly enjoys the season, they are prone to complain about how Christmas has been “commercialized and secularized” and rarely miss an opportunity to state that the real meaning of Christmas has been lost. Each year. Every year. They may also contrast how much we spend on Christmas with how much we give to the church. Merry Melancholys typically find employment as Pastors.

C. The Pro-Christmas Activist

The Christmas Activist loves Christmas, especially when it comes to giving the gift of boycotts and petition drives. When not writing letters to the editor over why we-shouldn’t-care-about-whatever-percent-of-the-atheist-population-thinks-about-Christmas, they are seeking out and flaming anti-Christmas blogs written by Killjoys or doing all their Christmas shopping online at BillOReilly.com. Open to running for elective office.

D. The Anti-Pro-Christmas Activist

The Anti-Activist is not necessarily a Killjoy, and may in fact love everything about Christmas, but can quickly take on Melancholy traits when within earshot of a Christmas Activist. In this state, the Anti-Activist may be prone to blog incessantly about how Christians-would-do-well-do-focus-their-efforts-on-more-Christ-like-endeavors-like-working-soup-kitchens-and-stopping-global-warming-rather-than-supporting-Focus-on-the-Family’s-stupid-Christmas-boycott-of-the-Gap. The Anti-Activist despises pro-Christmas crusades and will usually respond by initiating an anti-pro Christmas crusade. The Anti-Activist has been known to say that they enjoy the company of a Killjoy and Melancholy, but it’s unclear whether this is just a ruse to tick off the Christmas Activist. May also run for elective office, but only if the Christmas Activist is on the opposing ticket.