Karaoke, Cookouts and Christianity

Karaoke: there is nothing worse than listening to some narcissistic no-talent hack butcher a perfectly good song, but after the freak show is over and he’s finally screeched, yelled, barked and groaned his last note, you’re expected to applaud. I don’t think so. So I admit that I just might be, perhaps, a tad bit biased against Karaoke to begin with.

However, I’m no prude. Or at least I thought I wasn’t. But really now, wouldn’t most parents assume that when going to a cookout organized by Christians and attended by approximately 60 children, that the Karaoke songs would not include lyrics like:

“Baby I want your love tonight. . . feel you pushing deeper inside of me.” That’s pretty darn close to an exact quote, and there was plenty more than that. Tragically, the woman who sung it had squirm-in-your-seat lack of talent, even by Karaoke standards. And the damn song just . . . wouldn’t . . . end.

“Last night, I did things I'm not proud of . . . And I got a little crazy . . . I don't even know his last name.” ("Well honey, in this song, Carrie Underwood has sex with a stranger, and because she was drunk, she can't remember his last name, assuming she ever asked in the first place.")

“Feels like the firrrrst time, feels like the very firrrst time.” (I suppose there are alternative interpretions of that particular song by Foreigner - I just don't feel like exploring their meanings with a 7 year old).

There were others. I'm truly surprised that "Like a Virgin" wasn't one of them - I expected to hear that one before the night was through. The choice of songs reflected either bad judgment, or, as I expect, the total absence of judgment. Thankfully, our kids were either in the bouncy slide thingamajig or the pool. Their were plenty of Christian teenagers listening, though.

Sorry to break the news to you, but being a Christian (parent) means being set apart. Different. We aren't going to do what the world does as a matter of course or live by the culture's standards. That doesn't mean that there is some exalted version of a proper Christian cookout to aspire to (open and close with prayer, serve grape juice and play Keith Green throughout?) - hardly. But I'd like to think that exposing kids to sexually themed lyrics is over the line, Christian or non-Christian line, for that matter.

I feel like a cross between the clueless parent who drags his five-year old along for the rated R movie, and the 90-year old deacon complaining because the youth group played Petra during Sunday school.

Oh, well. The fireworks display was a site to behold. Twenty-five minutes of the big stuff.